~
There's JOY in the Kitchen ~
~When we realize that ~
Most of the shadows of this life are caused by
standing in one's own sunshine. * * * * * * *
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This week's newsletter contains the voices of
many PWs. Enjoy their whispers, thoughts,
frustrations and laughter, then sit back and sigh
deeply - knowing that you are not alone!
* * * * * * * * *
Be very careful, then, how you live - not
as unwise but as wise, making the most of every
opportunity. . . Ephesians 5:15
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A LETTER
Dear Shannon,
I have been receiving "Joy in the
Kitchen" for a few weeks now; I think a
friend of mine had me put on the mailing list. At
first I didn't really know what it was all about,
and I skimmed the issues briefly, thinking it was
one of those types of publications that are made
for the "traditional" pastor's wife,
the kind who wears her hair in a bun and makes
her own bread and cooks once a month for the
whole month, and does it on 50 dollars a
month....You know, the real stoic and solemn and
intimidating ones who scare me to death.
I have never been a traditional anything, and
the role of pastor's wife has always been a
struggle for me. I have never had anyone that I
can really share my heart with, even though I
love people dearly, and communication and
friendship are very important to me. I have been
told not to talk to "just
anyone"....but no one ever told me who I
could talk to. I had a very rebellious life
before coming to the Lord, and when I did come to
Him, no one wanted me to talk about what I had
been through...they all wanted me to pretend that
it never happened, that my pain never existed. So
I became an expert at pretending, at being
"sweet little Tina"; and I forgot who I
was.
I just learned through the years to "keep
up appearances". I lost every relational
skill I ever had, and became a hermit, basically,
because I really didn't know how to relate to
people as a Christian, outside of polite chat (or
what I observed a Christian to be; really rather
a wrong concept in those early days). Being a
pastors wife was even worse! I REALLY didn't know
how to do that, with my type of personality! I
got hushed a lot in the beginning, and so I
learned to shut up. Shutting up has never been
too easy for me, but I mastered it, and it caused
such awful turmoil in me. Not because I wanted to
say anything bad, or be loud and obnoxious, but
because I felt that I couldn't express the
abandon, the freedom (?) in me, with the dainty
ladylike ways I saw all around me, and my style
of expression had to be stifled. I guess I always
thought I thought differently than anyone else.
Added to that, I am a "visionary", so
to speak, but I had developed such a "sweet
little wife" demeanor, that no one really
took me seriously. After that, I got so distant,
everyone thought I was either really shy, or a
snob! That was tough. The more I type, the more
I'm becoming convinced that this is making no
sense at all......(haha)
Anyway, I said all that to say this: I have
been paying closer attention to your newsletter
lately, and today's issue touched my heart very
deeply. In that simple page, I saw such a
wonderful community of sisters!!! I saw the thing
my heart has longed for, for years; to be a part
of a group who accepted me as I am, like a
sister. I read, and re-read the page, and I felt
like a little kid standing outside the school
yard gate, watching all the laughing, happy
children inside; and I wanted desperately to come
in.
And so I am writing to you, to let you know
what a blessing you have been to me today. God is
beginning to show me in various ways that I am
not alone, that I am not a "square
peg"! (Well, maybe it's just that I'm not
the only square peg!) I want to be a part of this
fellowship. I don't know what I mean exactly,
except that I would really love to get to know
some of you better. You all seem so loving and
full of genuine concern for each other. You seem
like "real people"! It looks like just
what I have needed for so long.
Please let me know when the chat room schedules
are; I would like to drop in sometime! God bless you
for your unselfishness in reaching out to the needs of
others, sometimes the very unseen needs. Have a great
day!
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
* * * *
FROM THE HEART
As you know, when a PW becomes a
"member" of Sarah's Tent, she is asked
to fill out an Information form. One of the
questions we have put in this form is regarding
frustrations. We feel it is important to not only
express those frustrations, but also for others
to see that they are not alone in their day to
day thoughts and struggles. The following are
recent submissions from new PWs. Their names are
withheld however, so that all can relate.
THE QUESTION WAS: "What area is your
greatest frustration and need as you walk out
your call as one of God's Shepherds? What is on
your heart?
THEIR ANSWERS WERE:
1. Trying to capture the kids heart, and
seeing that most Christians still see the
children's church as babysitting until they get
out of service! Kids are sooo important to God,
and we need to reach out to them where they are.
We can't expect them to help birth revival.
Prayer, praise and repentance are key to this
happening. Want to see the Glory of God come and
abide on the temple, and not lift!
2. Not enough support, no one seems to
understand.
3. ". . . It is extremely frustrating to
me to wait and wait for things to get moving,
only to have nothing actually come of it in the
end." "Well, what is on my heart is the
people. . . . I see a group of wonderful people
so eager to get on with serving God, and
fulfilling the call of God on their lives, and
one by one they have gotten frustrated and left,
seeing more of what they were hungry for
somewhere else.
4. I find that trying to compensate people and
getting people to help carry the load is very
difficult. It seems as if everyone wants a
ministry in the church to help strengthen their
spiritual walk with the Lord but no one wants to
take on the responsibility. And as pastors, we
can't do it all.
5. Concern for teens and singles. . .
Loneliness sometimes. . . my husband can be so
busy and talking to so many people that by the
time he gets home, he is talked out and wants to
unwind.
6. My greatest frustration is knowing that I'm
not where God wants me to be in knowing His Word
and being as supportive in my husband's ministry.
It's on my heart to teach the youth God's Word
and be a part of the women's ministry.
7. Greatest frustration is Christians whose
relationship with Christ is way down on the
priority list.
8. Right now it is just waiting to get a job.
. . it is our heart's greatest desire and it's
tough waiting sometimes. We are ready and willing
to serve the Lord through full time ministry. . .
I know that it won't be long but we are bubbling
over, we are so ready!!
9. People not heeding God's call on their life
and doing the part that they have been called to
do. On my heart is the desire to HEAR and obey
God's voice.
10. Dealing with people and the ability to
watch my tongue.
11. My greatest frustration is falling out of
the Lord's will with our life. . . I know that
Satan is against a marriage that is His plan, so
we have been attacked by Satan an awful lot
lately.
12. Greatest frustration is probably dealing
with expectations that I perceive others to have
of me. I have difficulty at times knowing how to
express myself and open up to others for fear of
how my personality, opinions etc. might reflect
on my husband. I need encouragement at times that
God can use me and my gifts (which are usually
quiet and behind the scenes.) My heart? Well, I
desire to be used by God, to follow Him and to
make a difference in my world. I love our
calling, our church and the life God has given to
my husband and me. Fortunately, I have
experienced much more joy than pain in our years
together in ministry. I hope to encourage and be
encouraged through your ministry, and laughter
would be nice too.
13. My greatest frustration is carrying too
much responsibility for people's gripes,
neediness, etc. My greatest need is just to rest
in God's sovereignty, especially during personal
attacks.
14. I need friendship and support.
15. My heart is really burdened with the hurts
and pain that children of broken families go
through. I am terribly saddened by various
statistics reflecting the "failure
rate" of these children in society. I have
personally seen the devastation that these
children go through, for an event that they have
little to no control over & yet they blame
themselves for it. I am burdened to start a
healing ministry for them to help them build
lives and self-esteem focused on Christ.
16. The need for good friends, and to be able
to be me and not "the Pastor's Wife" -
be able to tell someone the pastor annoyed me
about something, you know? I'd like to be that
friend to someone also having lived in parsonages
all my life (my dad was a pastor also) I can see
it from different angles. On my heart is the need
to make Jesus the focus of our lives & needs
- that only HE can fill our deepest needs not our
churches, our husbands, our children, the
hierarchy of our denomination, etc. ONLY HIM!
17. When I met my husband, I felt the Lord's
clear call indicating that we would marry, and
that I was to really minister to my husband. He
founded our church 17 years ago when he was only
20, in a very tough environment, with very little
help. He is worn out! We are (like most)
financially pressured since I left my job and
don't currently receive a salary, but I know in
my heart I'm where the Lord wants me to be!
18. I'm struggling with a lot of emotional
problems that I never took care of before.
19. My area of greatest frustration is the
exclusivism we've run into among church leaders.
20. We are brand new at all of this and have
so may good ideas, but the congregation has a lot
of older members that are uncomfortable with
changes. And they criticize my husband sometimes.
Personally, I am tired of people thinking that I
know my husband's schedule and where everything
is at the church. It is also hard to gain their
respect. We know that slow steps towards change
is best but it is also FRUSTRATING!! Also, I am
lonely, because there are hardly any younger
people at our church and we're in a new area, so
I don't really know anybody.
21. Waiting on God's timing and not trying to
open doors ourselves. Seems like when God calls
some people, they walk right into their ministry.
But it has took us years of service and training.
But God has promised us something special.
22. My greatest frustration is people who
don't want to totally "sell out" to
God. Who only want to give Him lip service and
not life service. What is on my heart right now
is developing a deeper walk with Him. A more
steadfast lifestyle.
23. I need someone to share with. That will
understand what I am going through. Sometimes I
get so frustrated. That I feel like I am trying
to run this family all by myself. My children ask
me when Dad is going to do something with the.
I've come to the point where I just try to fill
in for him. I don't know what else to do. He
knows that the children feel that they are being
left out. And he feels the same way. We just
don't know where to find time. There is always
someone or something that needs his attention.
24. Learning to just wait for God.
25. Contemporary worship and my spiritual
development. What special considerations there
are in dealing with two congregations.
26. That people see that they need the Lord,
and children who have to do without because of
their parents not taking care of them.
27. I'm a networker/mobilizer and so I'm
constantly meeting new people and building
relationships with them. This is great and I love
it, yet it is a major frustration because
obviously I can't spend the kind of time I'd like
to with hardly any of them!
28. A desire for my people-sheep to have a
desire for Christian growth and a greater
closeness to God. I have had many previously
unchurched or "little" churched folks
join my church and they need spiritual maturity
(as do some of the saints who have been around
forever).
29. Having someone who really, really
understands that I'm only human. . . and not a
superwoman Christian.
30. I am so glad to see an area for pastor's
wives to interact with each other's ideas. So
often I feel like I am all alone, then hear from
another pastor's wife that has experienced the
same thing!! What a good feeling to know that we
share many common experiences. Right now my
struggle is in the area of disciplining my
children. . . one lady in the church told us at
the last leadership council meeting that she
considered our 3 yr. old son undisciplined and
that we were basically unfit to teach anybody
anything as a consequence (of course she and her
husband are childless). Others there spoke out in
defense of us, but I am still kind of hurting
from this very public and harsh criticism. Our
church is small and the children are in the
Sunday service time, but they're not perfect.
Anyway, my husband, bless him, has been very
supportive, but I still struggle with how to
discipline my kids - I don't want to go overboard
and overcorrect them because of someone's
opinion.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Happiness is the result of circumstances,
but joy endures in spite of circumstances.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Once upon a time. . .
By Shannon Parish
There sat upon the King's table, a fine
pitcher of good wholesome milk, as well as a
wonderful pitcher of delicious orange juice. All
of the Kings children sat around the table and
noisily ate of the bounty before them.
The milk pitcher would graciously allow itself
to be poured out in order to nourish the
children, as well as the orange juice pitcher.
Each pitcher took great pleasure in the role the
Master had placed them in.
One day however, the milk pitcher found itself
drained of all the contents placed within it. It
had nothing more to give. The Master came to the
table and lifted the milk pitcher from it's place
to cleanse it and refill it with more delicious
and nutritious milk. The children began to cry
out for more milk and the orange juice pitcher
frantically tried to think of how it could help.
So, meaning well, and wanting to please the
Master, the orange juice pitcher filled itself
full of milk and began to pour itself out to the
children. Alas, the children choked on what was
given to them because, you see, milk curdles in
orange juice!
THE MORAL OF THE STORY: Be who you are, and
allow the Master to do the pouring. When you try
to be like someone else, or fill a position which
belongs to another, you only curdle things. Well
meaning intentions or not, you have been set
aside for a specific purpose which only YOU can
fulfill. That position was determined by the
Master - not you. Rejoice in who you are - don't
worry, what you see missing is being attended to
by HIM.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Phil 2:17-18 Yes, and if I am being
poured out as a drink offering on the sacrifice
and service of your faith, I am glad and rejoice
with you all. For the same reason you also be
glad and rejoice with me. (NKJ)
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
The discipline of desire is the
background of character. But I keep under my
body, and bring it into subjection: lest that by
any means, when I have preached to others, I
myself should be a castaway. 1 Corinthians 9:27
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
RETREAT!!
Well, actually the word should be REFRESH!!!
Several (many, actually) of you have expressed an
interest in attending the retreat in Winterpark,
CO next May of 1998. As well as expressing an
interest has been a concern for not only the time
involved (two nights) but the financial aspect as
well.
We desire our retreats to be times of
refreshing and encouragement, not pressure and
drain. So in order to better facilitate as many
people as possible, we are now in the process of
planning several retreats through out the year,
and in various areas of the United States, with
the intent of keeping air fares to a minimum as
well as maintaining the integrity of an intimate
retreat.
If you are interested in hosting a retreat, or
helping to plan one in your area, please contact
Shannon. We are keeping these retreats simple
and pleasurable, ministering to the mind, body
soul and spirit through fellowship, discussions,
worship and praise, prayer, and having shopping
available, as well as hot tubs!! There are plenty
of conferences with many guest speakers and busy
schedules, and the last thing we need are more of
those. . . . what we are providing are times of
refreshing and healing so you can return to your
family and congregation as new women!
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
POT LUCK!
ZUCCHINI BREAD
3 c. flour
3 eggs
1 c. oil
2 c. sugar
2 tsp. soda
1/4 tsp. cinnamon
1/4 tsp. nutmeg
1 c. nuts
2 c. zucchini
1 c. pineapple
1 c. raisins
1 tsp. vanilla
1 tsp. salt
DIRECTIONS: Mix all together and bake in loaf
pans, 350 degrees, until brown. Apples can be
added instead of zucchini.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
CHUCKLES
We were cleaning and preparing for our Annual
Open House around Christmas time. My daughter (2
1/2 then) was trying to "help" her
father make his world famous meatballs. He
finally gave her a piece of Italian bread to rip
up for the meatballs. She took it and ripped it
in half and said, "this is my body broken
for you".
My daughter (now 3 1/2) went to VBS this
summer. They learned tons of songs and she has
been singing all of them all the time. At lunch
the other day she started singing Our God is an
Awesome God (the chorus is: Our God is an Awesome
God, He reigns from Heaven above with wisdom,
power and might, our God is an awesome God). She
began to sing, "Our God is and Awesome God,
He arranges Heaven above with wings, power and
might".
During Communion Sunday, my daughter (16
months) sees her daddy getting the elements ready
and sees him lift the cup up to heaven while he
prays. In her outdoor voice you hear, "Juice
Daddy". Not to be outdone (and me very
embarrassed) when he raises the bread, she
states, "TOAST!".
That is SOME of the Chelsea stories.....that
doesn't include the Cinderella STORIES or
anything in the last day or two!!! LOL
-----
A newly appointed young pastor was contacted
by a local funeral director to hold a graveside
committal service at a small country cemetery in
Iowa. There was to be no funeral, just the
committal, because the deceased had no family or
friends left in Iowa.
The young pastor started early to the
cemetery, but soon lost his way. After making
several wrong turns, he finally arrived a
half-hour late. The hearse was nowhere in sight,
and the workmen were relaxing under a nearby
tree, eating their lunch. The pastor went to the
open grave and found that the vault lid was
already in place. He took out his Bible and read
some scripture and prayed. As he returned to his
car, he overheard one of the workmen say:
"Maybe we'd better tell him he just prayed
over the septic tank."
Rev. Leland C Eyres N. Muscatine United
Methodist Parish, Muscatine, IA
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For your Exploring Pleasure,
(If you have discovered a web site that
you think others would be interested in, please
let me know, and I will put it in our newsletter.
Just click & drag the sight from your
Favorite Places and drop it into your letter.)
FamilyLife
- "Timeless Principles for your Marriage and
Family" & Related
Web sites - these are about Campus Crusade's
FamilyLife conferences. The web site page has a
slew of interesting sites for all ages and
interests, with a special section for children's
sites. A must-do for the dedicated web surfer!
P.S. Would Sarah laugh if she saw us computing
in her tent? tee hee ~Pattie
Reverend
Fun It's full of good , has a lot of places
to go from there too.
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