~ JOY In The Kitchen
~
A FREE weekly newsletter from
Sarah's Tent, a Loving Internet Community of Pastor's Wives.
Isaiah 51:1-2 ~ Isaiah 54:2-3
~ Heb 10:24 ,25
She's The 'Real
Thing'!
by Shannon Parish
Whispering through clenched teeth,
the woman leaned towards me, hand cupped over her mouth to hide her
caustic remark, "Why is she acting like that?" Frankly, I
had been thinking the same thing, and was biting my cheeks not to say
something myself! The morning had been powerful at this women's
retreat that we had been attending, and the behavior of the
woman in question had the effect the service like a cold wet blanket
thrown into a warm cozy bed.
Having the opportunity to enjoy a
conference from a church of another cultural background had been a
real treat for myself and the women who had come with me. The
atmosphere was rich with excitement and love, and coming from a more
protected part of society (so to speak) in cultural matters, we were
drinking in the rich flavor of our sister church with wide eyes and a
new perspective.
It was a simple testimony
really. The young woman had a powerful story to share.
However, the manner in which she was sharing it is all I will ever
remember of that conference. I was embarrassed for her. I was embarrassed
for us! Acting as though she were something she was not (from the
other cultural background), she talked, and gestured in a way that was
forced and completely foreign to who she really was inside. As the
audience listened to her story, it was obvious to all present that she
was a deeply wounded young woman who was attempting to cover up who
she really was, because of the shame she felt regarding her racial and
cultural background.
In her eyes, she was unacceptable by
her own "people", and felt that by acting like someone else,
she would be accepted as one of 'them'. My heart broke for her, yet I
sighed with relief when she finally sat down. That moment will
stay with me forever. Not because of her testimony, or her
behavior, but because of the distastefulness of it all being 'fake'
and how it overshadowed the loving mercy and grace of a loving
Heavenly Father.
More than once in our life times,
we've all desperately wanted to be accepted by our peers and said or
acted in a way that was shallow and phony, only to later mourn and
grieve over the lost moment of just being 'us'. We fear being unloved
and rejected. Whether it is an actual racial and cultural issue, a
'credential' issue, financial status, church size, involvement
or some other perceived issue, you will have opportunity to chose real
or phony in your actions and representation of Jesus Christ in you.
How it must grieve the Holy Spirit
when we chose a counterfeit image to portray Christ rather than being
true to who He created us to be in the first place. Did you know
that He created you to be EXACTLY who you are for a
reason?
Who ELSE could possibly reflect and
shine that part of His dear Son that you express....than you? If
you are an organizer and detailed person - who better to reflect His
order and careful details than you? If you are a quiet person, who
better to reflect His peace? If you are a leader, who better than His
authority and urgency for action? If you are funny - who better to
express His joy?
The next time you agree to do something that is not you - think
twice. Will your actions overshadow the presence of the Holy
Spirit by your portrayal of a counterfeit? Or will it reflect the
wonder of a generous and multi-faceted God?
___________________
Gen 1:27
So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.
________________________
Love vs. Toxic Love
Sent in by BeccaSu404@aol.com
Here is a short list of the characteristics of love vs. toxic love
...
1. Love - Development of self first priority.
Toxic love - Obsession with relationship.
2. Love - Room to grow, expand; desire for other to grow.
Toxic love - Security, comfort in sameness; intensity of need seen as proof of love (may really be fear, insecurity, loneliness)
3. Love - Separate interests; other friends; maintain other meaningful relationships.
Toxic love - Total involvement; limited social life; neglect old friends, interests.
4. Love - Encouragement of each other's expanding; secure in own worth.
Toxic love - Preoccupation with other's behavior; fear of other changing.
5. Love - Appropriate trust (i.e., trusting partner to behave according to fundamental nature).
Toxic love - Jealousy; possessiveness; fear of competition; protects "supply,"
6. Love - Compromise, negotiation or taking turns at leading. Problem solving together.
Toxic love - Power plays for control; blaming; passive or aggressive manipulation.
7. Love - Embracing of each other's individuality.
Toxic love - Trying to change other to own image.
8. Love - Relationship deals with all aspects of reality.
Toxic love - Relationship is based on delusion and avoidance of the unpleasant.
9. Love - Self-care by both partners; emotional state not dependent on other's mood.
Toxic love - Expectation that one partner will fix and rescue the other.
10. Love - Loving detachment (healthy concern about partner, while letting go).
Toxic love - Fusion (being obsessed with each other's problems and feelings).
11. Love - Sex is free choice growing out of caring & friendship.
Toxic love - Pressure around sex due to insecurity, fear & need for immediate gratification.
12. Love - Ability to enjoy being alone.
Toxic love - Unable to endure separation; clinging.
13. Love - Cycle of comfort and contentment.
Toxic love - Cycle of pain and despair.
Love is not supposed to be painful. There is pain involved in any relationship, but if it is painful most of the time then something is not working.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a relationship--it is natural and healthy. There is nothing wrong with wanting a relationship that will last forever--expecting it to last forever is what is dysfunctional. Expectations set us up to be a victim--and cause us to abandon ourselves in search of our goal.
__________________
Something to Think About ...
"am I performing in my life rather than being in my
life?"
_______________
Who Really Matters
In Your Life?
Submitted by Hermanjohnson969@cs.com
Take this short quiz to find out:
1. Name the five wealthiest people in the world.
2. Name the last five Heisman trophy winners.
3. Name the last five winners of the Miss America contest.
4. Name 10 people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer prize.
5. Name the last six Academy Award winners for best actor and actress.
6. Name the last decade's worth of World Series winners.
How did you do? The point is, none of us remember the headliners of
yesterday. These are no second-rate achievers. They are the best in their
fields. But the applause dies. Awards tarnish. Achievements are
forgotten. Accolades and certificates are buried with their owners.
Here's another quiz. See how you do on this one:
1. Name three friends who have helped you through a difficult time.
2. List a few teachers who aided your journey through school.
3. Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile.
4. Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciated and special.
5. Think of five people you enjoy spending time with.
Easier? The lesson?
The people who make a difference in your life are not the ones with the
most credentials, the most money, or the most awards. They are the ones
who care.
_____________________________
1 John 4:12
No one has seen God at any time. If we love one another, God abides in us, and His love has been perfected in us.
______________________________
BUDDY GROUP TIPS
I've finally found the chat room for my
Buddy Group, but no one is in there, now what?
Did you know that you can schedule a specific time
with your Buddy Group members to meet in your chat room? Then to
remember that time, you can add it to your calendar and have a
reminder sent out by email to remind you of your meeting ahead of
time.
Take into account your various time zones! Once you log into the chat
room, give it time to load on your computer, then be patient while you
wait for everyone else to come in. You can still check your
email while you wait - just don't forget to look at the chat window to
see if someone has arrived or not!
_____________________________
BUDDY GROUPS OF THE WEEK
Fellowship
Tried and True
= Pastors wives who are 50 years or older. This special and wonderful group is to help
those who yearn to meet others more close to their own age and experiences.
Support
Prodigals
= Ministry couples struggling with a prodigal son or daughter
who need encouragement and support from like couples. Believe it or
not - you are not alone!
st-
Special Interest
Book of the Month
= How can you possibly know all the great books that are in your area
of interest? Share with friends who are in the same walk of life as
you! Got your cup of tea? Got your book? Are you online to talk about
it? Now READ!
___________________________________
Caught Up In A Storm of Emotions?
Need MAJOR encouragement? Visit our web page; www.sarahstent.com
and click on the words "Are You Hurting?"
______________________________
We have just had the privilege of enjoying a wonderful week at a retreat guest home for pastors and wives at Cedarly in Delafield, Wisconsin (near Milwaukee). It was new to us, and we were surely not disappointed. The website is
www.Cedarly.org if you'd like to check it out. The food was absolutely wonderful, and I'd like to share two cookie recipes that Betty Mulloy graciously shared with us:
CHOCOLATE ESPRESSO COOKIES
3 ounces unsweetened chocolate, chopped
2 cups (12 ounces) semisweet chocolate chips
1 stick (1/2 cup) unsalted butter, cut into pieces
3 large eggs
1 cup plus 2 Tablespoons sugar
2 1/4 teaspoons finely ground dark roast coffee beans
3/4 cups flour
1/3 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 cup walnuts
Preheat oven to 350 degrees and grease two large heavy baking sheets.
In a double boiler or a metal bowl set over a saucepan of barely simmering
water, melt unsweetened chocolate, 1 cup chocolate chips, and butter, stirring until smooth, and remove top of double boiler, and salt and stir until just combined. Stir in remaining chocolate chips and walnuts.
Drop batter by heaping tablespoons about 2 inches apart onto baking sheets and bake in middle of oven 8 to 10 minutes, or until puffed and cracked on top, Cool cookies in baking sheets 1 minute and transfer to racks to cool
completely.
Makes about 30 cookies.
SIMPLY THE BEST OATMEAL COOKIES
1 1/2 c. flour
1 t. baking soda
1 c. (2 sticks) unsalted butter, room temperature
1/4 c. sugar
1/4 c. brown sugar
1 egg
1 t. vanilla
1 1/2 c. oatmeal
1 c. toffee pieces
1 c. chocolate chips
1 c. dried cherries or cranberries
Combine dry ingredients and set aside. Cream butter and sugars until light and fluffy, about 2 to 3 minutes. Add egg and mix on high speed to combine. Add
vanilla; mix. Add flour mixture a bit at a time on low speed until well combined. Add remaining ingredients; mix on low until combined.
Divide dough into three equal portions and roll into logs 1 1/2 inches in diameter using plastic wrap to shape them. To bake, cut logs into 3/4" slices. Bake at 350 on parchment paper lined pans until golden
brown, 8 to 10 minutes. Remove from oven, transfer to baking rack to cool.
I make these in mass quantity and freeze the logs, cutting them frozen and putting them on the pans to bake. Adjust baking time accordingly. I also substitute goodies as I have them, sometimes adding nuts and skipping toffee pieces, etc. Do what you have or what you like.
________________________________
CHUCKLES & THOUGHTS
Submitted by Dolores Destarac
An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief,
finally asked him, "How do you expect to get into Heaven?"
The boy thought it over and said, "Well, I'll just run in and out
and in and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, 'For
Heaven's sake, Jimmy, come in or stay out!'"
******************************************************************
One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was
tucking her small boy into bed. She was about to turn off the light
when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep
with me tonight?"
The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't, dear,"
she said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room."
A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice:
"The big sissy."
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WEB SITES & RESOURCES
Visit our LINKS page at: www.sarahstent.com!
Joy in The Kitchen Volume 4 Issue 13
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