The Shame Game
by Shannon Parish

From the time we were little children, we've heard the phrase "Shame on you!" or something similar - or even implied.  Years pass and figuring that we've outgrown such outbursts we settle into our routines of life not noticing an ever present undercurrent of the shame that was laid upon us.

Growing up is a learning process.  What you are today is because of the messages, and input you received from peers, parents, and people in authority in your journey of life.  Learn. Adapt. Adjust. Explore. Learn. Adapt.  Like bread dough being rolled, pulled and folded, pounded and fluffed, we are shaped into the men and women of adulthood.

Sadly, we do not realize that not all of the spoken and unspoken messages we received were correct or Godly.  The people who gave us input in our lives were also shaped and raised by imperfect people.  

As children, we enjoyed the wonder and exploration of the world around us.  Investigating and experimenting are simply a process of growth.  However, there were times that boundaries were overstepped and discipline administered.  There are consequences to sin, and disobedience.  This we learn.  This we observe.  

Naturally, children imitate their parents and seeing the power that correction brings, they turn on their peers and experiment with the same strategy.  "Shame on you for being so fat!"  "Shame on you for wearing such stupid clothing - and who told you to wear your hair that way?"  Children can be cruel and unmerciful.  They can be the pure, raw form and expression of their parents misunderstood opinions and fleshly behaviors unleashed on innocents like themselves, simply for the pleasure of wielding a power and a control they do not understand.

Control.  Ah.  It has power.  In the hands of an immature human being, shame turned to anger and hatred is inflicted on others in an effort to raise one's self above their own shame, and the cycle begins.

Salvation enters our life.  We are forgiven of sins and we rejoice at our new freedom.  As time passes, we feel a familiar presence overshadow all that we do.  We have new things to learn, and we do our best to learn them, stepping out 'in faith' the best way we know how.  Once again, we experience the rebuke and un-approving  scowls  of people with varying opinions and understanding of scriptures.  Backing off, we unconsciously withdraw from any step of faith, lest we be publicly shamed.  Growth stops.  Ministry stops.  Miracles stop.  Joy dries up.  The maintenance mode begins.  Exist until we die and see Jesus, then we can breath easy.  Then we will know what it is to experience the Kingdom of God and all that comes with it.

Satan dealt the cards, we played the game, we lost.   Or did we?  Isn't winning a game all about understanding the rules and tricks of the plays at hand?  Sure, at first it stings a little and frustration builds as you are 'one-upped' over and over.  But, can I tell you a secret?

Play the game you know! Most people loose the game because they try to play it with someone else's personality and moves.  Laying who we are aside, we lay our weapons down, and enter the enemies camp - with the enemy still there!  Why on earth would I try to play a game of technical intelligence, when I'm an artist and illustrator?  That game is not mine.  Why would a mathematician try to compete with me in a re-enactment of a dramatic play when their skill lies in keeping books, or investing money for the Kingdom?

If you are a round peg - you cannot fit in a square hole.  Something will always be lacking and those things that you can touch on, will rub your wrong.  Adjust?  Yes, to some degree.  Adjust to the idea that you are one of a kind, and there is no one who can do what you do - the way you do it.  Then rest in it and when your game comes - play it the way you know how.  If you know how to organize groups of people to clean the church, don't worry about playing the piano.  And if you play the piano and know how to love on shut-ins, do that.  Do not play a game that is not yours.  When we try to be what we are not - we set ourselves up for failure - and shame enters our life.  Layer after layer, stripping us of the power that God put within us.  That power is flavored with you.  Not another through you.  

Read that again.  God put His power in YOU.  Flavored with YOU expressed in your way.  He did not put Sally's gifting, personality and insights in Jane...that would be prostituting His grace.  God doesn't work like that.  

He loves each of His children desperately.  What joy it brings Him when we re-discover who we are - and forgetting what lies behind, press on towards the high calling. By HIS Grace, HIS Mercy, HIS Direction, we learn to wield the weapons He gave US.  Specialists in the Kingdom of God.  Jointly fit together.  Each one filling and fulfilling our own separate calling, in our own separate and unified way.  So that we may ALL be complete and like little children explode with the joy of rediscovery and wonder at all that God has created.

Don't play the shame game.  Don't go there.  Satan loves it when he lays his hand of evil accusations from his stacked deck, on top of your hand, and takes your treasure.  Give up the lies and mistakes.  They are in the past, and cannot be changed.  By letting go of those painful accusations and releasing the anger and fear that come with shame, embrace who you are, and celebrate with thanksgiving who God created you to be.  (Go ahead - it's okay to enjoy that - it's okay to get tickled at who you are.)  

Position yourself to play the game you know best.  The game you are equipped to play out skillfully. Whether it is singing, playing piano, cleaning, organizing, ministering to children, ministering to your family or husband, intercession, counseling, or whatever it is that you do exceptionally well.  That is your game.  That is the hand God dealt you.  Play well your destiny - because that is where the joy of your salvation lies!

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Eph 4:16

"... from whom the whole body, joined and knit together by what every joint supplies, according to the effective working by which every part does its share, causes growth of the body for the edifying of itself in love." 

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WE TEACH WHAT WE KNOW
WE REPRODUCE WHAT WE ARE.
~ John Maxwell

(This quote from last week needs to be read again.)
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Letters to the Editor

"We don't like the new format of Sarah's Tent. Bring back the old format, 
without the sponsors. Very hard to read now, with all the billboards along 
the way."

Prayerfully,
G & JH

Thanks for taking the time to comment G & JH.  We're working on a balance! I think we hate them as much as you do.  Still, the need for support is there. Ideas and suggestions are always welcome!  ~ Shannon
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"Tonight was my first night to really sat down and read Joy in the kitchen. I am a preachers wife and looking forward to using some of the recipes tomorrow.

Thanks for sending the Joy in the kitchen. It is a source of encouragement. "

Kathleen Hammond
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"Do you have a pw listed in the tent that lives in Middletown Ohio? If so could you put me in contact with them?
thanks
Becky

I have several very good recipes to share with you this week. The first is one which I used again Sunday--a taco-type meal with a different twist that I think you'll like. It makes TWO 9 x 13 dishes, but you can half it if you prefer. I used one for dinner Sunday noon after church for company and another one for the Care Group that met at our house Sunday night.

Haystack Supper
1 3/4 cups crushed saltines (about 40 crackers)
2 c. cooked rice
3 pound ground beef
1 large onion, chopped
1 1/2 cups tomato juice (I used stewed tomatoes, whirled in the blender)
3/4 c. water
3 tablespoons taco seasoning mix
4 cups shredded lettuce
3 medium tomatoes, diced
Sauce: 1/2 c. butter or margarine
1/2 c. flour
4 c. milk
1 pound process American cheese, cubed (or Velveeta)

3 c. (12 ounces) shredded cheddar cheese
1 jar (10 ounces) stuffed olives, drained/sliced
Tortilla Chips
Divide crackers between two un-greased 13x9" baking dishes. Top with rice. In a skillet, cook beef and onion until meat is no longer pink; drain. Add tomato juice, water and seasonings; simmer for 15-20 minutes. Spoon over rice. Sprinkle with lettuce and tomatoes. (In a saucepan, melt butter. Stir in flour until smooth. Gradually add milk. Bring to a boil; cook and stir for 2 minutes. Reduce heat; stir in cheese until melted.) Pour over the tomatoes. Top with cheese and olives. Serve with chips. Refrigerate any leftovers. (Dot's note: I prefer to put the cheese sauce over hamburger mixture and add the tomatoes/olives/lettuce on TOP of the cheese).


This is a very tasty casserole that uses those nutritious zucchinis that are so abundant right now. I changed the recipe into a skillet casserole and saved an extra dish and also halved the recipe, which was generous for two of us...
Zucchini Casserole
4 lbs diced zucchini (3 or 4)
1/2 t. garlic salt
1 lg. onion, chopped
1 bell pepper, chopped
Steam til barely tender (I used an iron skillet with cover)

In bowl, beat 4 eggs with whisk. Add 1 c. bread crumbs, 1/4 c. grated cheese, 1/4 c. Mozzarella cheese, grated, 2 t. chopped parsley, 1/2 c. salad oil, 1 t. salt, 1/3 t. pepper to taste. Mix with zucchini mixture. Bake 400 degrees for 30 minutes or til golden.


The following is a recipe that Shannon (JoyfulArt) shared. It is delicious.

Super Simple - Simply Scrumptious!

Recipe #1
Can of cherry pie filling
1 stick of butter
1 box of chocolate cake mix
9 X 9 cake pan

DIRECTIONS: 
1. Put pie filling in cake pan.
2. Crumble butter into cake mix
3. Sprinkle cake mix crumbles on top of pie filling
4. Bake at 375 for about 30 minutes
Enjoy the rave reviews, look smug

Recipe # 2
Can of peach pie filling
1 stick of butter
1 box of Spice cake filling

DIRECTIONS:
Same as above. 
Serve with vanilla ice cream or whipped topping or hog the whole pan yourself.
Be sure to pat face with white flour to maintain appearance of having slaved in a hot kitchen all day.  Rumple hair and wet brow with glass of ice tea.

I love to hear from you if you try a recipe or if you have a question.    --Dot

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Chuckles and Thoughts 
Submitted by Kristy Smith

Two vultures board an airplane, each carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at them and says, "I'm sorry, gentlemen, only one carrion allowed per passenger".
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank - proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it, too.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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Joy in The Kitchen Volume 4 Issue 25