As a New Pastor, How Do I Win Respect From My Peers?

The question was asked ... "My husband and I are new in the Pastoral ministry. I need to know how to win the respect of my peers and be acknowledged as a person with my own identity. Handling conflict."

A common misconception about becoming a pastor is that some how, you are now expected to be perfect and have all the answers. The worst thing any pastor can do is to foster that conception. We are humans - and we are saved by the GRACE of God.

The most compassionate, loving and worshipful thing that you can do to represent Christ truthfully - is to be truthfully you. We teach the people around us, how we expect to be treated. As a pastor, that is amplified because of the nature of humans to want to worship. To me, it was frightening to see the look in a congregational member's eyes as they hung on my every word - because today, I now had the title of "Pastor". That same congregational member would not have given me a second glance the day before - because she did not know that we were being ordained the next day. Its silly, but I praise God that what transpired that day was permanently burned into my memory.

The willingness of people to worship you as a spiritual leader, can be intoxicating - and many a pastor has fallen when they succumbed. On the same hand, the worship can backfire and people are quite willing to crucify the pastor if he or she doesn't live up to their unrealistic (and undefined)expectations.

What's a pastor to do? On a consistent basis - search his or her own heart. Jesus said that the greatest commandment was to Love God - and the second was to love others AS YOU LOVE YOURSELF. (You cannot give what you do not possess)

The lesson? As you love yourself and live in integrity and honesty - following your passion and staying in your strengths ... your example will free others to do the same.

And that helps to prevent, or heal conflict because as you receive His grace and mercy, forgiveness and unconditional love, you will be able to give the same, and others will follow and do the same. A Christ-like "culture" will be created of mutual respect, kindness, cooperation and unconditional love.

Conflict always arises. Most often, it is due to a misunderstanding in communication. Ask clarifying questions. Listen. Allow for learning curves. Conflict creates change, and Change means Growth. Where there is growth, there is
life.

If we try to be all things to all people, we are deceived and in a falsehood - all that we do will be based upon lies - and THAT kind of atmosphere creates destructive conflict filled with hate and unforgiveness.

Yep - it all starts at the top. God sees the heart ...