Who We Are

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Est. 1996


Tough Decisions: Should I Leave ... or Not?
By Shannon Parish

Whether you are being faced with a difficult church situation, a lousy work situation or a toxic relationship, the following article, (written with leaving a church situation in mind) still applies.

NO MATTER where someone decides to go - or whatever they decide to do - if they want to know what the right answer is, they have to ask themselves some very important questions.

Those questions might be:

1. Is where I am and what I'm doing promoting the Kingdom of God?

2. Am I flourishing and growing where I am?

3. Do I feel safe and loved?

4. Am I validated, celebrated and appreciated, or am I tolerated, ignored and taken for granted?

5. Am I surrounded by life or death?

6. Jesus said that the thief comes but to steal, kill and destroy. Jesus came that we might have life and have it more abundantly. Is there abundant life, or am I feeling robbed and my dreams and who I am are being destroyed?

7. Is the call of God being nurtured and facilitated in my life? Ultimately, I know that there will come a day when I stand before God and will be judged for what I was called to do not what I did instead.

Other questions to ask yourself:

1. Why do I stay?

2. What am I afraid of in making a decision in this matter?

3. If I stay, am I prepared to do what ever it takes to make where I am succeed and grow - no matter what that might be?

4. If I go, am I willing to set my course towards my dreams and what I know God has placed in my heart?

It would be easy to think that you had to choose sides. But any decision that needs to be made is not one of win and loose - unless you think of it in eternal terms. No church should be in competition with another - we should all be supporting and praying for one another - in spite of our weaknesses and wounded-ness. Everything we do must come from a place of unconditional love.  Not only what we give to others, but from what we receive from leadership and the culture around us.

This is a KINGDOM decision and should be treated as such. If there is a fear of betrayal towards a man...then where does God stand in that mans light? (or shadow) Where is God's importance and place in any future decision that one makes?

Then where does one go?

This decision too, must be made with prayer and intelligence. One does not go to another church, (job or relationship) just because they feel comfortable there, feel obligated, or know people. This too must be made with Kingdom thinking. What will stir up my gifts? My anointing? My life? What will breathe life into me and support me in my growth, self esteem, spiritual walk and destiny? This takes time in prayer - and sometimes its not all that bad of an idea to just take time out to seek out those answers.

Just as in making a career choice, one must pin-point what is desired in their church/spiritual home. If they could describe the perfect place, what would that look like? (Keeping in mind their dreams, goals and visions as well as their own personal worth and growth.)

Paint a picture and then ask God to lead. Out of the abundance of our hearts, our mouths speak, and God gives us the desires of our heart. True - that is big time paraphrased, but I've found this to be true in opening our eyes to God's possibilities in our lives.

This is a God decision, not a decision between men.

If situations and time have caused you to become uncertain in your purpose and the things that make your heart sing, then click here to answer a few questions to help you re-focus.


A Cartoonist, Graphic Facilitator and Creative Life Coach, Shannon Parish devotes her life to encouraging those who are fed up with the 'status-quo' and are determined to discover and pursue their purpose and destiny in life through one-on-one mentoring, facilitated workshops and retreats.


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(c) copyright 2010 All world rights reserved, Shannon Parish, Living Stones Center.
For reprint permission, please email me.


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Sarah's Tent (Est. 1997)
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